So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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