He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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