This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
