I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
