i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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