so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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