But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
