currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
