I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
