And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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