Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
