oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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