I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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