the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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