Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
