So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize