Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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