And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize