She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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