i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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