Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
