I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
honey bunches of taint.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
