the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
