Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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