i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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