Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
