I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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