peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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