I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
