i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
