they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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