New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
