I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
