Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
