i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The uberlube is also flammable
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
