What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
