my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
