its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
