I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
