He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
