Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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