I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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