if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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