I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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