i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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