I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
