So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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