There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
