Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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