I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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