I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
