I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
