How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
