I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize