At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My cat gives me a boner
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I enjoy the company of your penis
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize