My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
