smell my finger.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
